For us this year it was a very rich holiday. Lots of joy but a more balanced level of activity between doing and just enjoying. Hearing from friends and family, going to events, enjoying the decorations and festivities. Content with everything we need and feeling very fortunate.
We saw family early before Christmas so it was more taking pleasure in our home and having things done so we could enjoy a fire and staying inside during the wonderful soaking rain. We’ve had more rain in the last 3 months than we had in the first 8 months. A gift we more appreciate because of loss. Yin & Yang.
Both John and I enjoyed a very interesting mystery by a first-time author, S.J. Watson. “Before I Go to Sleep” is about an amnesiac (written from her viewpoint) who literally wakes up in an older body, but with only a few memories of childhood. Each day she has to rediscover herself and reconstruct her history. Interesting story and a mystery that really makes you think about how our experiences define and shape us—while you just wonder what is really going on—what is imagined, what is real. More a “how did this amnesia happen?”
And who couldn’t feel a tear of joy seeing our servicemen come home and surprise their children and loved ones at unexpected events. I never grew tired of seeing those features. And suffering from longing and loss of loved ones is always magnified during a holiday when it is fresh and ongoing. My Yin or shade was merely remembering those I’ve lost, my Yang or light was just enjoying relaxing activities—so I considered it very balanced, if bittersweet at times.
The same balance was not true for everyone I knew for a variety of circumstances. One friend and neighbor from the late 60’s and early 70’s lost his son, who when we knew him was a toddler and pre-schooler. When John said Morgan would be over 40, I really took a pause, because he’s a forever young toddler and pre-schooler for me. I had a mental picture of him in his 20’s, but 40 something? But the calendar isn’t lying on that one.
We will now start to venture out the holiday movies. I’m very interested personally in War Horse. A shaping incident for my mother during World War I was their horses being drafted and taken to war in Europe. Until her death my mother longed for, and at times agonized, about those two horses. She was around 8 when they were taken so the ages of many of the elementary aged children we’re seeing in the returning servicemen stories-- shaping, lifelong stories.
Think of the sacrifice that farmers, who plowed their fields with horses, made to that war effort. My mother remembered her brothers pulling the plow . . . and that they were a sorry substitute for the horses. But I suppose the real story is what those horses meant beyond farming. My grandmother on my father’s side, always talked about foregoing church in the early 1900’s so the horses could rest. Have you ever felt that deep of an attachment to a machine?
So now our part of the holiday is looking forward and what resolutions and activities will be for next year. What do you want your holiday letters to say next year? How will you balance Yin & Yang? Happy New Year!
Illustrated from Musings column in the 12/28/2011 Fort Bend Independent.
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